“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.”
– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
The very word struggle is from unclear origins etymologically, but it essentially means to wrestle, grapple, or contend with.
Many people want to improve their lifestyles so they or their children don’t have to struggle. I recall my own mother encouraging me to take the “safe, secure path” … not wanting me to have to struggle in life. (As if!!!)
Innately fiercely independent, I scoffed, proclaiming that struggle builds character. I always admired people who were self-made and had some scars and stories to tell about their journey, versus my privileged peers.
Indeed, my favorite movies are typically about people who struggled: RUDY, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, 42, RAY, ORDINARY PEOPLE, SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, and the list is endless. I doubt I’m alone here. Most of us do love to see a protagonist overcome obstacles and succeed.
As a species, we are inherently adaptive. Fully 99% of our homo sapiens’ existence has been as nomads. Hard to wrap your head around that, but for 2-3 million years, humans lived this way, moving and adapting to survive. As Darwin taught us, those species that do not adapt do not survive.
When we function right on the edge of difficulty, we grow; we are essentially forced to be creative, resourceful, and inspire others. “Without struggle, we are psychically fragile, heir to ills like anxiety and self-doubt,” states evolutionary psychologist, Dr. Glenn Geher.
Benefits to Struggle
There are actually many benefits to struggling: it increases longevity, slows cognitive decline (offsetting dementia), increases confidence, adds to our coping skills, offers a more expansive worldview, a larger comfort zone, and increases our window of tolerance.
This is not to say that anyone should seek out toxic, abusive, dangerous situations; rather, it is to give you a new perspective on any situation you are struggling with now as an opportunity to learn and to grow.
Immunizations build resistance. Muscle builders tear the muscle to strengthen them. When you allow your children to struggle to do their homework, they develop self-reliance. Exposure allows us to overcome fears and phobias. We can train ourselves to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Take baby steps to overcome a fear or make a change or rise to some challenge.
Without struggle, there would be no amazing athletes to thrill us; no singers or actors or writers or inventors or entrepreneurs. Indeed, none of the 8 billion+ people on the planet would be here without someone struggling through labor pains. What is trying to emerge through your struggle? What are you about to “give birth” to?
I offer a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to anyone who wishes to make a positive change in their life. Please get in touch to schedule your call.
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” – Brene Brown
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