I always appreciate the opportunity to comment in big publications such as The New York Times. Sometimes, I am able to reach a larger audience, which is always great, seeing that I aim to empower as many people as possible.
In light of Valentine’s Day, I recently provided commentary on an article titled “Love You! Now, the Difficult Stuff …” NY Times writer, Eric V. Copage, gathered a range of experts to provide insight on how couples should communicate and ask questions in preparation for marriage. Interesting comments were provided by Arielle Ford, Diana Kirshner, Rachel A Sussman and others.
“AS Valentine’s Day nears — always prime time for engagements — marriage experts advise asking some unromantic questions after posing the big romantic one.
Surprisingly few newly engaged couples seem to have these frank discussions, some of which can serve to avoid painful misunderstandings later on.”
I wrote, “Some partners will shut down when uncomfortable questions are asked, yet others “are happy to be open books. If your partner wants some privacy — as opposed to secrecy — you might want to honor that.”
To read the full article click here
Important Questions to Ask
Also, here are questions that should be asked before your wedding day:
What is our “mission statement” as a couple?
To what extent are you willing to go to have a family, medically?
What will we do if we find out our child has severe disabilities?
Who should I have on speed dial for the days when I just can’t figure you out?
Can you name two couples that you admire and would hope to emulate?
How do we stay sexually engaged with each other?
Will we share our credit reports with each other?
Should we have an exit strategy for the marriage, and if so, what would it be?
If married previously, why did it end and what did you learn from that relationship?
What are our conflict management styles, and are they compatible?
Dr. Gaby Cora
Are you willing to work together through the marriage with a commitment to have the best possible marriage ever, no matter how significant the disagreement?
aimeeintheoc
Reblogged this on Girl Behind The Orange Curtain and commented:
This is a great article. Many of these questions were posed during our Engagement Encounter required by the Catholic Church when we were married. I think these questions, however difficult, need to be discussed in order to have a successful, long-lasting marriage. My husband Jim and I are going on 13 years.
drnancyirwin
Thanks so much for your comments and kind words. And kudos on your 13 yrs together! I wish you many, many more years of bliss. Best, Dr. Nancy