“It is not always possible to do away with negative thinking, but with persistence and practice, one can gain mastery over them so that they do not take the upper hand.” ― Stephen Richards
It’s that time of year when many set goals for health and fitness, increasing income, enhancing relationships, and more.
A recent Forbes Health Poll found that only 8% keep their New Year’s resolution for a month! Alas, many run out of steam around week 3, ironically when the new neural pathway is getting embedded. So that you can maintain your commitment to self-improvement, stay willing to do the work to support your goal, and allow the new, desirable neural pathway to carry you there, I caution you to mind your ANTS.
ANTS: Automatic Negative Thoughts. The good news: we all have them. The bad news: we always will. More good news: they are absolutely manageable.
ANTS that are unmanaged can color our thinking, mood, beliefs, and behaviors. They sound like this: “I’m not good enough,” I’m a failure,” “I’m unlovable,” “There are no good women/men out there,” or “I always set goals, but then I self-sabotage.”
While ANTS are actually trying to protect you from rejection, humiliation, failure, or some other form of danger, they are not facts. And one can certainly master seeing them for what they are, neutralizing them, and letting them move on.
If you were enjoying a picnic and some real ants crept in, you would not allow them to ruin your party. You’d handle them appropriately and continue to enjoy your picnic. ANTS can be managed similarly: they will try to intrude on your “picnic.” If you choose to get angry and fight them, then they still have a charge. You can accept that there are almost always ants at picnics, and you can simply brush them away and carry on with your fun.
With ANTS, you can notice them and neutralize them by rationally refuting them. This is a classic CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) technique that allows you to simply notice the thought: “I’m a loser” and rationally refute it: “It is certainly true that I lose sometimes, but that does not make me a loser.” LeBron James loses quite often. Doubtful anyone on the planet would label him a loser. And then you get to work on improving your skills. This tool allows you to learn from the ANT, which, again, deep down, has some warning, caution, or an important message for you and keep it in perspective versus buying into some absolute exaggeration at the moment.
Similarly, you probably do not get mad at the trash in your kitchen. You accept that there will always be trash in a home and dispense with it safely, appropriately and with neutrality. ANTS are like trash in our minds, and they, too, can be managed safely, appropriately, and with neutrality.
ANTs can be turned into APTs (Automatic Positive Thoughts). You are much more apt to succeed if you increase your APTs. Coupled with action steps, APTs will help you attain those New Year’s goals.
Happy 2024. Wishing you all the best of health, success, peace and joy.
